This
Week's Sermon
Interpersonal Relationships
Philippians 1:1-2
Thomas Hale boldly states that interpersonal conflict is the number one
cause of missionaries leaving the field earlier than planned. Many missionaries who possess a flawless philosophy of
missions struggle in the area of interpersonal relationships. Even the Apostle Paul had to separate from Barnabas because
the contention over John Mark was so sharp between them. Nevertheless, Paul recognized the value of interpersonal
relationships and sought at the end of this life to rectify the division.
Missionaries, however, are not the only ones who struggle in this area.
Virtually all Christians will have interpersonal conflict at some time in
their lives. In the opening verses of Philippians Paul presents four
interpersonal relationships that are necessary for the missionary and the
believer.
I.
A Relationship with Christ (vv. 1a, 2)
The
president of Asbury College, Dennis Kinlaw, tells the story of a man who quit
his university studies, sold his possessions, and bought a one-way ticket to
Latin America to serve as a missionary among a primitive tribe of Indians.
The family of this twenty-year-old had opposed his departure.
The young man had no financial backing.
Yet at the time of the story, this missionary had been working with these
Indians for over ten years. When
asked why he had gone when he did, the young man replied that he had an intimacy
with Jesus that would be lost if he were disobedient.
Obviously,
the greatest credential any missionary can carry to the field is an intimacy
with Jesus Christ. The spiritual
life of the missionary is basic to the success of a missionary career.
The relationship that the missionary has with Jesus must be nurtured at
all costs. This is especially true
on the mission field where are fewer props, fewer supports, fewer opportunities
for fellowship, where the church may be small and weak, and the language hard to
understand. The missionary’s ultimate support comes from his
relationship with Christ.
Missionaries
will be constantly tempted to allow the work of ministry to take precedence over
a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Spiritual barrenness, however, will be alleviated if the missionary
spends adequate time developing his love relationship with God.
Time must be spent with Jesus, for spirituality grows out of that
intimacy.
This,
of course, implies personal conversion. A
person who is sent forth as missionary is a person who must be converted.
The opening confession of Paul, that he was a servant of Jesus Christ,
shapes the entire book of Philippians. Paul
was keenly aware of that day on the Damascus Road when Christ arrested him.
Turn over to 3:12. Since
that day Paul had been the slave of Jesus Christ, and this conviction shaped
Paul’s entire missionary career. The
missionary who is not sure of his own salvation is not likely to lead others to
a saving knowledge of Christ.
In
New Testament times millions of slaves populated the Roman Empire.
The vast majority of these were forced into slavery and kept there by
legislation. While some of the more
educated and skilled slaves held significant positions, most slaves were treated
like personal property of the owner. They
were considered little better than work animals.
These slaves had no rights under the law and could even be killed with
impunity by their masters. When, therefore, Paul calls himself and Timothy “servants
of Jesus Christ,” they are to be considered slaves in the most unassuming
sense. Because of his love for the
Lord, Paul was completely at Christ’s disposal.
His relationship to Christ took precedence over everything else.
He was the bond slave of Jesus Christ.
A
proper relationship with the Lord is the fountain from which other good
interpersonal relationships flow. Once
a person has the right relationship to the Lord, he will very likely have the
ability to get along with family, friends, pastors, deacons, church members,
fellow missionaries, and anyone else that he bumps shoulders with on a
day-to-day basis. The grace that is
needed when others become irritable, and the peace that is needed when one is
tempted to become irritable himself, both stem from a relationship with God. As Paul clearly states, “both “grace” and “peace”
come from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thus, one’s relationship with God takes precedence over all other
relationships because it is this relationship that provides needed spiritual
enablement to deal with others.
II.
A Relationship with Fellow Workers (v. 1b)
Virtually
all mission work is done in teams. Jesus
sent out His disciples two by tow. There
is wisdom in this. Solomon said,
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.”
It is not surprising, therefore, to see Paul frequently paired with a
fellow worker, in this case Timothy.
Because
Paul was conscious of Timothy’s unique gifts, it was fitting that Paul should
choose him as a companion and fellow worker.
Later in the book of Philippians Paul would describe the relationship
between himself and Timothy in terms of a father-son relationship. Look at 2:22. Timothy
became an indispensable partner to the Apostle Paul.
Unfortunately,
many missionaries never experience this kind of partnership with their
colleagues. Ronald Iswasko lists
interrelationships with other missionaries as a significant pressure of
first-term missionaries. Three
quarters of all significant problems a missionary confronts are caused by
relationship difficulties with other missionaries.
The inability to get along will be magnified on the mission field by the
high level of stress and frustration missionaries face by the closeness of their
living and working conditions. Missionaries
historically are strong-willed people, and their agenda must seek to prevent
interpersonal conflicts, especially among fellow workers.
Relationship
problems with nationals do exist, but these are not nearly as intensive as those
that exist between missionaries. Most
missionaries are mentally prepared for differences with nationals, but they do
not expect to have such strong disagreements with their fellow missionaries.
Rubbing
people the wrong way is a greater danger on the mission field because
missionaries have to live at close quarters.
Some of them live on compounds where they are placed with other
missionaries twelve hours a day, seven days a week.
If one person in this group is abrasive, life for the others can be
miserable. Nowhere are
interpersonal relations more important than on the mission field.
The
missionary is a member of a team, and he must learn to be a harmonious worker.
There are too many jobs to be done and too many roles to be filled for
him to be a loner. He must be
willing to step up and do a job not thinking of self-interest.
Turn over to 2:3-45. This
admonition carried more weight because the Philippians had seen the way Paul and
Timothy applied these principles to each other.
Turn
over to Acts 16:1-3. Timothy was
the son of a Jewess who had also become a Christian.
Timothy’s father, however, was a Greek, and the Biblical text suggests
that the dead was not a Christian and was already dead.
Paul’s attention was drawn to Timothy because of the good report given
of him by the local Christians. Paul
wished to have Timothy as a companion in his ministry work.
There
was, however, one problem. Timothy
was the product of a mixed marriage. Jews
were not supposed to marry Gentiles, but when this happened, the children were
supposed to be regarded as Jewish. This
had not taken place in the case of Timothy, for he had not been circumcised.
His mother may not have taken her Jewish responsibility seriously, or the
father may have refused to sanction the circumcision.
But whatever the case, because Paul’s ministry would bring Timothy in
close contact with Jewish people, and it was well known in the area that Timothy
had not been circumcised, Paul took the necessary step.
Paul
could have been tempted to forego the circumcision just having completed the
Jerusalem Council where he vehemently argued that circumcision had nothing to do
with the Gospel. Timothy as well
could have refused the circumcision in order to honor his father.
But both men placed their personal feelings aside, performed the
circumcision, and a beautiful ministry team was formed.
The words “Paul and Timothy” very strongly communicated to the
believers at Philippi a strong interpersonal relationship between fellow
missionary laborers.
III.
A Relationship with the Lost (v. 1c)
In
addition to a relationship with Christ and fellow workers, the Apostle Paul
always had a vibrant relationship with those to whom he had come to minister.
His correspondence to the Philippian church reveals the nature of his
heart. It was unthinkable to the
Apostle Paul to neglect all the saints that are at Philippi in Christ Jesus.
This comprehensive phrase describes the Christian community that head
been formed following the apostolic mission at Philippi.
You
remember the story. Paul received
the Macedonian call, and he went to Philippi.
He met a businesswoman named Lydia, and she got saved.
He cast a demon out of slave girl, and won her to Christ.
And then the Philippian jailer was led to the Lord when he asked the most
important question that a man could ever ask.
What must I do to be saved? And
thus, the Philippian church was born with people of varying cultures and
backgrounds.
Over
the past three centuries, one of the most crucial and frequently debated issues
in missions has had to do with the relationships between missionaries and
nationals. In times past, many
nationals have been treated as uncivilized subordinates.
Many local people were denied access into the homes of missionaries.
The missionary and the native would not even drink from the same cup at
the Lord’s Supper. Unfortunately,
prejudices have existed.
Many
missionaries are just convinced that Western civilization is better.
And if the missionary is not careful, he can easily reveal his
superiority complex to the nationals he is trying to reach.
Local products are constantly compared unfavorably to those available in
the states. Indeed, many
missionaries arrive on the field with two dozen drums of personal effects.
This all conveys to the national that American goods are superior to
their goods. The only reason a
missionary has gone to all the trouble and expense to ship these items is
because he believes Americans are better in craftsmanship, quality, and
durability. The national sees this as nothing short of bigotry.
From
the very first day a missionary arrives on the field, he should develop
meaningful relationships with local people.
This is what Paul did with the Philippians.
When we enter a culture, we should communicate our desire to learn that
culture. And if you enter the
culture as a student, nationals are usually able to teach, for they are proud of
their culture. And while that
culture is being absorbed, the missionary is able to build relationships that
make him a part of the community. Learning
a new culture provides a significant opportunity to evangelize.
The missionary must view himself culturally as an equal of, rather than a
superior to, the national.
Love
is always the hallmark of a missionary. Missionaries
do not have to be bright or brave to be successful (though both are desirable).
But missionaries must be loving. The
nationals will overlook many weaknesses and forgive many blunders if they are
persuaded that the missionary has a heart of love.
The placement of a verb, or the wrong gender of a noun will matter little
if there is a recognizable love and respect for the people we have been called
to reach.
Nationals
frequently consider flexibility to be an important trait of the missionary.
Missionaries who are rigid in following their own cultural was and who
refuse to adapt and fit into the host culture are not greatly appreciated.
And this is true even once the nationals have been incorporated into the
church. Missionaries frequently
criticize young national churches. Attitudes
and behaviors are uncharitably and judgmentally dissected.
But when the missionary criticizes national leadership, he discourages
and impedes church growth. Such slander tears Christians apart and encourages the
nationals to slander each other.
Paul,
in contrast, viewed the Philippian believers as fellow saints.
He treated them as brothers rather than children.
By the time of the Philippian correspondence, the young church had
already become dependent upon the Holy Spirit and independent of the personality
of the Paul. Indeed, Paul was
receiving support from them, rather then vice versa.
Paul
recognized that the nationals are the ones who have some degree of permanence in
the area. Many missionaries, like
Paul, are transients. They do not
have local roots. Missionaries need
to entrust the communication of the Gospel to those who will be the most
effective in communicating it. Nationals
keep the church from appearing foreign. National
leadership enhances more often than not church growth.
Thus, the missionary should seek to take a back seat.
Missionaries should seek to be servants and supporters of the church
viewing themselves as partners with the nationals.
IV.
A Relationship with the Local Church (v. 1d)
Once
nationals have been saved, they need to be congregated into a local church.
While some have fought against any formal church organization, believing
that the church is merely a spiritual organism, the New Testament gives clear
evidence of a definitely organized church.
The first church in Jerusalem knew the number of their members, united in
worship services and prayer meetings, and observed the ordinances.
As this early church progressed, a formal church organization was
developed. Meetings were held on
the first day of the week, and church decorum was practiced.
In
addition, the early church had offices of elders and deacons.
On his first missionary journey, Paul ordained elders in every church.
The permanent nature of the offices of elder and deacon are evident by
the list of qualifications given in the Pastoral Epistles.
It is not surprising, therefore, to find the Philippian letter addressed
to the saints with the bishops and deacons.
The terms refer to the inner life of the church as an organized
fellowship.
All
of this indicates that the missionary work of the Apostle Paul in Philippi
culminated with the planting of an organized local church.
This church eventually became a source of support for the Apostle
Paul’s missionary endeavors. Paul
is writing back to this church and its leadership to thank them for their
contributions. Thus, the Apostle
Paul not only had a relationship to Christ, his fellow workers, and the
nationals with whom he ministered; he also had a relationship with the local
churches who supported him with their financial gifts and prayers. Paul believed in accountability to the local church.
Without
the ability to maintain good interpersonal relationships, you and I will not
have a satisfactory ministry experience even if we possess impeccable ministry
credentials. It behooves each of us
this morning to analyze our relationship to Christ, our relationship with fellow
Christians with whom we labor, our relationship to the lost around us, and our
relationship to this local church.
Several
years ago in Philadelphia, I invited a missionary to come to our church and
present his work. This missionary
graduated from a great school. He
was going to a needy field. He had
chosen an excellent missionary board. His
philosophy of ministry was impeccable. And
I would have supported that missionary had it not been for one thing.
We went out to eat together. And
the whole time we were there, he criticized the food, the waitress, other
churches he had been in, his own pastor. He
was miserable. And if this poor
fellow was that miserable in his own culture, what would he be like on the
mission field?
Believe
it or not, a necessary prerequisite to being a good missionary is being a good
Christian. And that starts with
your relationship with the Lord, and your relationship with your fellow
Christians, and your relationship to the lost around you, and your relationship
to your local church. I ask you to
evaluate your interpersonal relationships today.
A Ministry of Grace Baptist Church
2915 Fourteenth Avenue
Columbus, Georgia 31904 (706) 323-9161